The Four Commandments of Sage are religious scripture found by Jose Barrence at the foot of Eden Rock. The commandments originally written in stone were published by Barrence Books LTD. following their viewing and interpretation in 2016.

The text is seen as sacred scripture in Sageism and supposed to outline how every follower of Sage should live their life and how followers of Sage should respect him.


A painting depicting Jose Barrence finding the Commandments of Sage at the foot of Eden Rock

First Commandment Edit

The first Commandment of Sage is that every man should make at least one meme in their lifetime. However the said meme minimum must not contain any 'comic sans' memes or 'impact font' memes. The commandment also states that cat memes, unless deemed extra spicy, are not allowed to be counted as this one meme minimum.

The commandment also denotes that the more memes a man makes the more loyal he will be - in the eyes of Sage.

Second Commandment Edit

The second Commandment of Sage states that "For a man to enter paradise he must first make at least one pilgrimage to Memecca in his life". Although this quotation states a true Sageist must make at least one pilgrimage to a holy site, the site does not actually exist but promotes that in order to enter paradise you must first watch every episode of the BBC comedy series Yes Minister and Yes, Prime Minister.

Third Commandment Edit

The third Commandment reveals that every follower of sage must give %5 of their income to the state and %5 to the Church of Sage. It also states that no true follower of Sageism would ever give aid to any LGBT related organisation.

Fourth Commandment Edit

Sage should never be ridiculed for his accent or his manor of speech, in fact, Sage should be praised for such virtues. This interpretation originates from the quotation "One speaketh the way I speaketh, and no true disciple will ever ridicule mine speech".